If it wouldn’t be for your body, you wouldn’t be here.
And there was me, my long planned holiday and my body. It was October, the beginning of spring in New Zealand and my mind was clinging to the last 3 days I had to work before I will head over to Bali for 3 weeks of blissful holiday. Nature was fully awake after a long winter sleep and everything was blooming and beautiful. It felt like a new beginning of something new, something exciting.
I felt the same way, like I and my body needed these 3 weeks of rest and feminine flow after a long time of hard work, stress and masculine energy.
I felt my body’s tension, all the stress and pressure accumulated at every cell of my body. I felt like I was reaching the threshold, the safe capability of my body to cope with what I wanted it to do. Those constant tasks and needs. These 3 days felt like an eternity. But I managed to pull through and here it was, my long awaited, needed break.
When I sat down in the plane and settled for a long 8h flight I felt the urge to close my eyes. Later my husband told me that I had slept so deeply for almost 5 hours that he was afraid that I would never wake up. I needed this rest so much.
My body sensed an opportunity to restore my depleted energy and recover.
For years I nourished my body well with great food, 8h sleep, daily yoga and meditation. It has been years since I barely drank alcohol or had too much caffeine. I knew how to nourish my body, but I forgot that my body has its own capability and it will do everything it can to keep me going when it will feel the stress and need in order to survive.
I allowed myself to switch off. I turned off my brain, I surrounded myself to relax and I began my recovery journey.
We chose a beautiful accomodation close to our favourite surfing spot, quiet and private, so we can both disconnect from the busy world outside.
After a long flight, beautiful dinner at a local restaurant and long swim in a warm pool I fell into deep komatic sleep. I slept for 14h and when I woke up I had a fever and my head was hurting so much. I had the flu. Every muscle in my body was aching. Every move was painful and I had no energy. I was sick…
Immediately, I felt anger. I felt angry at why after 12 months of not even a cold, I had to get a flu right at the beginning of my long needed surfing holiday. I felt defeated.
I sent my husband off to the sea and submerged myself into deep anxiety and healing sleep.
I stayed in a bed for 2 days, shivering, cold and hot, sweating through the sheets, able only to take short walks to the loo and shower. When I was able to think clearly I started to understand what happened.
I have depleted my body so much that It couldn’t hold it any longer and when it felt no more need to survive, it just gave up and needed to rest.
Two days later I felt better and I felt a deep connection and appreciation for my body like never before.
Often we need to fall at the rocky bottom to see the way out. Often we need to feel pain to start our healing process and more than often we don’t appreciate our body enough.
I allowed my body to heal, to recover and promised myself that I will pay more attention to its needs, not just in the form of nourishment and body movement but also in the form of energy and allow my body to lead the way.
I work with women who are strong and beautiful, they take care of themselves in physical and psychological form yet, their bodies are tired, sick, broken and anxious.
We forget to allow ourselves to take a break. To nurture our body and to listen to it.
Our body's here for us all day and night. It’s here for us even when we don’t like how it looks, even if we don’t feel connected to it. It’s here, listening to our needs, completing all the tasks and doing it all without any loud protests.
Our body speaks to us in messages, in symptoms, yet we forget how to read in them, we forgot how to listen.
When our body is tired, we decide to enhance its energy with coffee. When our body doesn't look the way we want to we punish it with limited supplies of food and hard exercise. When we fall sick we are angry, because our body decided to stand in our way to accomplish something.
We try to control our body. But in fact our body controls us. It always had and it always will.
Our body loves us unconditionally and it will always do everything it’s asked for.
If you decide to diet and exercise your body will adjust for you to survive. If you decide to binge eat and indulge over “party” weekend your body will adjust to survive. If you need to keep going and you constantly send to your body a message of need, stress, urge then your body will do everything to survive. And when you finally take a break, your body will do everything to survive.